Be the coachee, first day

Today was my turn to be coach by another student, Astrid. 

I started to explain her what was  coaching for me.I  emphasis on the points which were the most important for me: The coach never gives the answer but shows the tools to find the right answer. The coach must not be from your friend of professional background, otherwise a judgment still exist. A relationship based on confidence is required. Coach is listening as well the body language, which sometimes express the contrary of the voice. 

After, Astrid asked me two interesting questions to learn more about my point of view: What difference do I make between psychology, psychoanalysis and coaching? How are we going to continue the coaching together if having a coach from my friend or my professional background is not appropriate? 

Actually I’m waiting for the next step of this course. I can’t really see how you can coach someone by using that subject. Shall we choose our subject? In that case, are we ready to open ourselves to a stranger?   If the coachee doesn’t feel the need to be coach on a specific subject, how could it work? 

For our first interview we did not speak about our personal life, because we already knew each other. But maybe working on more personal subject would lead to others questions and give us the opportunity to get to know more.

Be a coach, first day.

Today I’ve experienced to be a coach. I was coaching another student, Nawal. We talk about what is a good coach from her point of view. We first planed a meeting on Skype. Actually, use

Skype on a professional way is kind of weird. I usually use it to call my family in France. Because I may have to use it for a professional interview in the future, it was a good exercise. 

Nawal started by explaining me what is coaching, what are the coach’s tasks, what type of relationship is necessary to make it work. She focused on the importance of listening and observing the coachee, and give useful feedback. Also, she emphasis on the fact that a coach gives you/show you your own skills to meet your goal.  

I have tried to use the five key processes (Listening, Mirroring, Summarizing, Questioning, Catalyzing). Listening was ok. It wasn’t that hard. I just needed to keep focus on what Nawal was talking about. Mirroring was a little bit more delicate. She doesn’t come for a real need of coaching. That’s why I couldn’t really help her to understand a situation which didn’t need huge explanations. Summarizing her thought was easy, also because I had myself study the same subject. Then, I have chosen to ask her if she had already tried to follow a coaching, and for which reason she might follow one. This was the most interesting part of the interview. By asking such kind of questions you can guess if the person is ready or not for a coaching, if she feels that need. 

I would have done that coaching about another subject. Something more linked to personal or professional life. So I would be more able to give an external point of view about the situation.

What is coaching?

Marcus Aurelius has said “Look well into thyself; there is a source of strength which will always spring up if thou wilt always look there”.  The duty of a coach is to show to the coachee his strength and help him to use it. A coachee is someone who feels he has a lack of competencies or who needs help in his personnel growth.  

 

The first task of a coach is to listen to the coachee. As Epictetus said, “We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.” The coach becomes the mirror of the coachee. He summarizes what said the coachee to give him an overview of his problem.  He is then able to ask him the right questions to help him to pass through his problem. Finally, the coach catalyzes the energy of the coachee in order to use his power to deal with his problem.

Coaching gives you the key point to increase your skills and performance.  There are several types of coaching. Some are used in personal life: life coaching, relationship coaching, parent coaching, retirement coaching, youth coaching. Each previous types of coaching are collaborative relationship between the coach and the coachee. The coach is working is one particular aspect of the coachee's life and that is to help the coachee to work with his skills to raise happy and confident children, to make decision about their retirement or to facilitate his growth.

Other types of coaching are directly linked to the professional life: Executive coaching, corporate coaching, team coaching, career coaching, transition coaching… The coach is working with employees to help them to achieve business result & improve performance. He also teaches a team how to reach common goals, and help the coachee to make decision about his career. Most of the time companies are hiring herself a coach. They understood quickly that if employees are fully aware of their capabilities and if they know how to use it, the performance of the enterprise will highly improve. 

Coach and coachee are created a particular relationship based on confidence and without social judgment. This privileged atmosphere gives to the coachee the freedom to analyse the fact in another way. Thanks to his ability to listen to the coachee, the coach can sum up the vision of the coachee and make him see the world in a way he would never imagine. So new solutions appear.  Actually, the coach is a sort of wizard: he makes you see thinks you couldn’t see before.  

Coaching methods could be used in the daily-life. By using the five key processes (Listening, Mirroring, Summarizing, Questioning, Catalyzing) people would be more aware of other’s expectations, other’s vision of the world and other’s way to understand things. This non-verbal communication would give them the power to adapt their behavior more efficiently and the make better decisions.