A good communication could have solved the situation

Here is my story about one experience where communication has been distorted by filters. 

The situation happened at school during a team work, which I will consider as a professional environment. Because of the field of study, I had to speak English with the other team members, even if some of them were natives’ French speakers. I consider my English speaking not too bad. At least, I’m able to follow a conversation, professional or not, and despite several mistakes, I speak fluent English. 

This day, I was a little bit confused. I wanted to express my point of view about one specific topic, and because the other team members didn’t get what I really mean, I had to find another way to explain it. It’s usually harder when you want to express a specific idea, even when using your mother tongue. So in English, I was harder for me. But I did success with the other team member, except one. We had two opposite vision of the answer. That’s probably the reason why it was hard to understand the other person. 

The event happened after. I was supposed to write ours answers on a paper sheet, in order to tape it later on a word spreadsheet. But because I had some difficulties to express my idea earlier, a boy concluded I wasn’t good enough to do it. I really felt he assumed I was stupid. I didn’t appreciate the ton he used to say that. He was kind of rude. Moreover, he was the one with who I didn’t agree with about one answer of the question. I felt kind of tension between us. 

I can analyze the conversation with the following statements:

1) Observable data: He said, because I’m not that comfortable with English, I might not write the paper. He could do it.

2) Selected data: I’m not that comfortable with English

3) Added meanings: He has something personal against me

4) Assumptions made on the added meanings: He thinks my English sucks. I’m too stupid to do it.

5) Conclusions: That boy doesn’t like me, that’s why he was kind of rude when he assumed my English wasn’t good enough.

6) Beliefs: I didn’t agree with him earlier about the answer for the team work. Plus he took an example in sport. I’m not at all a sporty fancy person, and he felt it.

7) Actions based on these beliefs: I don’t fell hurt but my self-esteem do. I will be careful next time I’ll be working with him.

I saw this boy only once since that event. But this awkward is feeling still on. The best solution would be to talk to him at that moment. He was probably not assuming such opinion about me. I should explain him that in my culture, when you speak with people this way, it is interpreted as be really rude.